Soulful Inspiration Coaching Blog

We are in the land of love with Valentine’s Day right around the corner. So, I’m curious, what comes to mind when you hear or say the word “LOVE”? Do you get warm feelings in your tummy, and find that you start to smile or are you numb to the word because it is overused?

Let me share with you a few definitions of love to shed some light on what love means…

As a noun:

1.     an intense feeling of deep affection.

2.     a great interest and pleasure in something.

As a verb:

1. feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone).

 

Pause for a moment and think about your use of the word “love” in your daily life. Are you assigning the word to inanimate objects and using it too often? It’s important to recognize your use of the L word. You are likely lessening the effects of this very powerful word by overusing it and applying it to inanimate objects.

 

I’m also curious how you feel when you think about the L word and your relationship with yourself. Do you love yourself? Is it easy or difficult to say “I love myself”?

 

I had a client who appeared to have lots of reasons to love herself, but she could not say it because it was not her experience. In order to help her through this, I asked her to write this statement down, and she really struggled because she felt like she was being dishonest. I explained she did not need to believe it to be true, but to write it as if it was fiction. She did as I asked, and I had her keep that note with her where she would see it often. Through some other work together, within a short time, she started to feel a shift where she was starting to like herself more and YES eventually, she was comfortable saying, “I love myself”. This might sound silly to you, but so many people struggle with self-love. It’s sad to me but I really love helping people find the essence of self-love.

 

I’m not sure if self-love is something you experience every day, but if not, I am gifting you some juicy tips to help you engage in a greater love life with yourself.

 

Tip #1: Begin to use the word "love" more appropriately, and find examples in your life of how your new view of love have changed.

Tip #2: Stop comparing yourself with others. The truth is, your value is immeasurable and has nothing to do with anyone else.

Tip #3: Make time for yourself. You make time for those important to you so don’t neglect yourself. Identify an activity you love and thrive in the experience of doing and being.

Tip #4: Show yourself the respect you deserve and set boundaries. You can compassionately let the people know around you what is and is not ok. Embrace the word “No” because that is how you set healthy boundaries.      
Tip #5: Now that you have recognized the love in your life and honor experience over possession, seek ways to pass it on. By activating the reciprocity of the emotion you will increase your awareness. A simple gesture such as a thank-you note or an expressed "I love you" to your best friend is contagious. Becoming a part of the love chain reinforces the powerful effect of not only giving but also receiving love in your life.

 

You can’t give that which you don’t have yourself, so the more love you give yourself, the more you give others. SPREAD THE LOVE!!!!!

Cheers to happy, healthy, abundant love! 

~Karlie 

Email: Souldiscoverycoach@gmail.com

 

 

 

How often do you charge your phone? I bet most of us do this every day and multiple times a day. We have become attached to our phones and often can’t function without it. (If this does not sound like you, keep reading, I’m sure some of what I share will connect with you!)

Now I have a tougher question for you. How many times a day do you recharge yourself? I know we think we are superhuman and don’t need to but let me tell you that’s a lie you are telling yourself!

You absolutely need to give yourself time to recharge. It could be as little as 15 minutes a day. (However, as a Master Transformational Life Coach, I invite you to do it multiple times a day!!)

You could spend a little longer in the shower, enjoy a nice cup of tea while listening to the birds outside, spend a few minutes to do some stretching and breathing before you get out of bed, or do some journaling.

It is critical for your entire being to allow your nervous system to relax throughout the day; have time to clear your mind and just BE with yourself.

You spend so much time caring for others, doing for others, working, being a mom/dad, friend, sister, supporter, caretaker. You are there for others in every way, but how are you there for yourself?

If a friend worked as hard as you, ran themselves ragged, gave everything to everyone and leaving themselves with very little, you would likely caution them to slow down and take some time for themselves.

Well my friends, I’m here to hold the mirror up in front of you! It’s time to take your own advice!

The giving season is upon us right now and I’m sure many are spending a lot of time and money on giving to others. But what is possible if you give more to yourself? I know you are probably cringing at that thought. Trust me, so many of my clients struggled with this concept but they would share with you today that when they integrated this paradigm into their life, so many beautiful things happened. They had more energy, their health and mood improved, they felt fulfilled, their priorities were in alignment with their actions, thus giving them more time to do what was important to them!

So, what is possible for you and those around you if you gave more to yourself?

Not Enough Hours in the Day? Don’t know where to start? I’m here for you!

If you have never been on a call with me, you are missing out! Message me and we will get you on my schedule. I am holding the space that you believe you are worthy and deserving of giving to yourself.

 
Cheers to happy, healthy, energetic living!
~Karlie

 

Have you ever heard of the famous quote by Charles Dickens, “My advice is to never do tomorrow what you can do today. Procrastination is the thief of time.” ? Well, it makes me giggle when I read it, because if it was easy to not procrastinate, more of us would do it, naturally.
I have to be 100% honest and tell you I sat down to write this blog about 5 weeks ago. (You may have seen me post about it on Facebook). But for some reason, it sits in my computer and I could not seem to get it completed. It was not for lack of content, I actually feel it is more due to an overwhelming amount of information and directions I could take this blog.
 
You see, in my coaching practice, client after client that I work with come to me with experiences where they battle procrastination. Procrastination keeps them from doing things that are important to them and often gets in the way of their happiness. When I realized this was so common, I sat down to write about this and bring awareness to it and ultimately to share some juicy tips on how to stop this bad habit.
 
However, something inside me is personally struggling with this very topic! As a Coach, I don’t claim to be perfect, it’s the opposite. I admit I am actively working on things that bother me in my life and things that I’m not 100% feeling fulfilled about but the cool thing my Master training in transformational coaching has taught me is how to help people (myself included) in getting from where we are to where we want to be.
 
Before I get to the juicy tips, I want to clarify what procrastination is. The simplest explanation comes from Napoleon Hill, “ Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday.” It’s a habit whereby something that feels more pleasant is chosen over something that is not as pleasant. This less-pleasant task usually carries anxiety and stress for the procrastinator in the longer term. Procrastination is a vicious cycle and definitely weighed on me knowing that I was sitting on this blog so I sit here now (11/7/18) and I’m committing to complete it and get it out to you all!
 
Now, I want you to pause for a moment and think about what it is that you tend to procrastinate about. What do you tend to get dragged down and overwhelmed by that accumulates over time, clutters your mind, environment and your business/career?
A few of the common ones I hear are, opening the mail, paying bills (not too late I hope!) completing paperwork, making phone calls, doing laundry, exercising, starting a healthier lifestyle, getting organized and cleaning.
 
The first tip to overcoming procrastination is to identify what you procrastinate about.
You may not want to do anything about them right now, but just writing them out will raise your awareness and you'll naturally start handling, fixing and resolving them. So, make a list of what you're putting up with at work (and at home if something bothers you while at work) and see what's cluttering your mind, and slowing you or your business down!
 
The second juicy tip is go back to basics and use a reward system to set up little goals and rewards along the way to aid you in progress. Having something to look forward to after each goal is met encourages steady progress.
 
The third tip is to get an accountability partner. Who you choose is vital to your success. You must choose someone who is invested in your success and is going to stretch and support you in following through. This is a very big part of what I do as a Coach. I believe you are 90% of the way to your desired life, but just need support, stretch and a little tough love to go the last 10%. Most of us stop right before we get there!
 
The fourth tip is to let go of the idea of success or failure, and revel in the act of doing. This is an important step because if procrastination has become part of our natural process, we can feel lazy, weak or guilty for not being able to follow through. But I’m here to tell you with personal and professional experience, procrastination is not equated to laziness! It is simply a habit that you absolutely can change if you put things in place that are going to help success be inevitable for you. Studies show that self-forgiveness can help you to feel more positive about yourself and reduce the likelihood of procrastination in the future.
 
The fifth tip is to meditate. Now, this may not resonate with everyone and that is ok. But for those of you that find meditation to be helpful in bringing clarity, energy and possibility, use it in this scenario. Follow a simple meditation technique by engaging in activity rather than passivity. Tell your inner procrastinator to wait outside until you have completed your work/task.  

I leave you with this final quote, “The really happy people are those who have broken the chains of procrastination, those who find satisfaction in doing the job at hand. They’re full of eagerness, zest, productivity. You can be, too.” – Norman Vincent Peale  

As always, I have your back. Please reach out if you have any questions or if you are experiencing curiosity around what is possible for you by having a Coach. Achieving your dreams is possible, priceless and life-changing!!! :)

Cheers to happy, healthy, abundant living!
~ Karlie
Transformational Master Life Coach
Soulful Inspiration Coaching, LLC

Have you ever said, “ What I want and need are two different things” ? Well, I invite you to think about this in a different way than you probably ever have.

If you ‘forget’ what you want, you aren’t being true to yourself. Often people say, “I don’t need it, but I want it so I can ignore my desires”. But does ignoring your desires make it go away? It might allow you to push it to the back of your brain for a while, but the desire is not gone . You are fooling yourself if you think otherwise because it is a desire for a reason. Something is needing to be satisfied. It might not be the exact thing you are desiring, but it is what you have determined will satisfy it for a period of time. Newsflash!!!! The thoughts you experience around your desire note being satisfied, will lead you to a state of stress. And stress has no value other than a way for you to know something is out of balance.

Stress actually robs you of your energy, impacts your ability to make good decisions (gives you what I call foggy brain), increases forgetfulness, poor concentration and many more negative things!

Does this make you wonder how the heck you get anything done when you are stressed? It sure makes me wonder! And honestly, I have a great appreciation now for anything I can accomplish in a stressful state.

So now, back to the topic of this blog (at the request of one of you beautiful people). How do you find balance between what you have to do and what you want to do?

The first thing is to Honor what is important to you. Many of my clients are spinning their wheels, in a state of constant motion but they don’t know whether they are doing what’s important to them or just what crossed their path. A juicy tip for doing this is to get a pen and a piece of paper and start listing what is important to you. (There is a connection with using pen and paper with an increase in generating thoughts so try this instead of typing it on a computer/tablet). A few examples are: financial security, a 2-week summer vacation, quality time with my kids each week or feeling good about scheduling time for self-care. Whatever is important to you…there is no room for judgment here…be true to YOURSELF! No one else needs to see this list.

The second thing is to determine what is not so important, but necessary. This is where need versus want comes in. For me and my fiancé, we need to clean the cage our chinchilla lives in, but we don’t want to. But we love her and like a clean smelling house so we do it. Some people don’t like to clean their house or do laundry, but unless we can afford a cleaning lady and a continuous supply of clothing, many of us need to do these things. See where the difference comes in?

The third thing is to take a look at your calendar (If you don’t calendar a lot of what you do, a Juicy tip would be to start! You can’t monitor what you don’t measure and if you can measure the amount of time you take, you can then shift to better meet your needs and wants! Gee-sound like something that would be useful to you?). If you don’t currently calendar, take a few minutes and reflect back on your last week or two. How much time have you spent doing things that aren’t on either of these lists? For example, are you doing something that someone else should be doing? Are you giving too much tiem to a task or tasks that don’t add value to your life? I see this as a great opportunity to share with you a quick experience of one of my clients in my life coaching program. She learned she was spending more than 15 hours a week volunteering. Now, this cause was near and dear to her heart, but she was expressing concern over important areas of her life not being nourished enough because she was out of time at the end of the week. She had no idea she was spending so much time volunteering. Let’s just say, this realization made her husband VERY happy because he even said, “Thank you for giving me my wife back”. She can volunteer still, but that is after she feels fulfilled in areas that are truly most important to her.

Note: It’s really important to take ownership for the things that are consuming your time. One of my favorite ‘smack ya in the face’ statements is, “If you don’t have time for what matters, what are you spending your time on?” Ouch!!!

The fourth thing is to list out your top 5 priorities current to your life now . Sample categories would be work, family, health, hobby, recreation activities, relationships, self-care, personal growth, etc.

The fifth thing is to pass through your calendar and look at anything coming up in the next month that is NOT going to serve a priority of yours and reschedule it for later than a month. If it can wait that long, it often is not necessary and can either be simply removed or delegated to someone else. And you do this activity until you feel you have scheduled your priorities in its place, to your satisfaction!

So, I leave you with this quote. “ You can't start with imbalance and end with peace, be that in your own body, in an ecosystem or between a government and its people. What we need to strive for is not perfection, but balance. ” ~Ani DiFranco

Cheers to Happy, Healthy, Abundant Living!
~Karlie
Transformational Life Coach
SoulDiscoveryCoach@Gmail.com

Confession time! I have a hard time ‘letting go’. Letting go of what you ask? The list is long! Well, I should say the list used to be long but it’s not so long anymore.

I spent years of my life worrying about what was or what wasn’t; what I should or shouldn’t do; who I was or wanted to be; and many other worries. What I did not realize was that the fears and doubts I carried were weighing me down physically, mentally and spiritually. I felt like I was a burning fire that had been snuffed out with no oxygen to feed my flame.

I was overeating, I was not exploring life as I should have with my friends and family and I was in pain for having lost my mom when I was just 14 years old. I knew I was missing that person who was supposed to help shape and guide me to be a productive, healthy adult and I held onto that pain because I did not know what else to do. I felt stuck and without options.

But if someone told me there was one thing I could do to get out of this fog and step into healthier, happier action, I probably would have thought they were crazy. I used to think that what I was going through was so different from anyone else and it even made me feel like I was broken and could not be fixed. Makes me tear up a little to even write that realization now.

But please hear me when I say… Letting go gives you the freedom and space and creates opportunity where you don’t see any right now.

I’ve spent a lot of time researching the best ways to get unstuck and I’m honored to have taken a lot of my clients from feeling stuck to feeling free and I keep coming back to this quote that set me on a better path some time ago. “You cannot let go of anything if you cannot notice that you are holding it. Admit your ‘weaknesses’ and watch them morph into your greatest strengths.” ~Neale Donald Walsch

So, I ask you- Do you feel stuck in some area of your life? It’s most likely a sign that you are holding onto something that is keeping you in that stuck state. I certainly know how uncomfortable and unsatisfying that stuck feeling is. Its’ not easy to let go of whatever is holding you back, but I am venturing a guess that you would much rather NOT feel stuck.

Letting go is often very difficult. Whether you need to let go of a toxic relationship, worries over finances, feeling unfulfilled in your job/career, unsure of what your purpose is or where your passion lies, there is support available for you. You are NOT broken, and you deserve to feel fulfilled in all areas of your life. AND IT IS POSSIBLE FOR YOU NOW!

If you don’t connect with my story, maybe you will connect with one of my clients. She shares this about her experience of letting go of what did not serve her and letting in what she dreamed of.: “"Before working with Karlie as my coach, I could not accept myself fully, much less believe that I could make everything I've secretly dreamed of a reality. In our first 90 days, we tackled my ability to accept and love myself, and it felt like magic! I look back, and can't believe the box I had been living in. Since then, we've tackled goals I was afraid to ever even say out loud before Karlie. Now, I'm moving right along, knocking down one after another. I only wish I had known about this ten years ago!"

What is it that you are holding on to that if you let it go, would allow you space for what you want?

~Karlie
Transformational Life Coach
Soulful Inspiration Coaching, LLC

Don’t get me wrong, social media has its positives. It helps people stay connected, provides business opportunities and education-but there are more pitfalls than positives. You can disagree all you want, but I see this more and more with my clients who come to me because they want to feel better about themselves, be healthier and happier.

A very common theme is that they all spend so much time on social media without true purpose or intent. So I ask YOU-Are you too connected to your electronic devices because of an addiction to social media? What are you seeing day in and day out that is adding to your stressed, depressed, anxious emotional state? Do you struggle with comparing yourself and your life to what others post? Maybe they have the “perfect” body or the “perfect family or they have the leisure to travel all the time and eat at expensive restaurants. Are you living with envy when you see something you don’t have?

Honestly, do you really know what you are seeing is real? No! You can’t possibly know if it’s real or not and even if it is real, you don’t know the full story or the big picture. That “perfect” body may be due to thousands of dollars spent on plastic surgery or years at the gym. You can have that if you spend the money and time. But is that really going to make you happy? What will you want after you have that “perfect” body. (Just a note-I’m using quotations around perfect because I don’t believe in perfection…it’s nonexistent but it is what so many people try to reach for and then feel like a failure. Duh! It’s unachievable!)

Listen up, it’s time to take control of what you see so you can engage the power within yourself to leverage your possibilities. What is possible for you right now if you stop following people who keep reminding you of who you are not and just BE YOU!

Life is made up of all types of people with a variety of gifts and blessings. You have things inside and outside of you that others don’t have. Leverage that and be in a state of gratitude and you will see an abundance of opportunity and possibility that you currently can’t see. It’s like your eyes have a fog over them and doing this will remove that layer of fog. Clarity and abundance are on the other side of the fog and I wan to help you get there faster!

It’s actually really simple, but before I share the keys to successfully doing this, I want you to ask yourself this question. “What does it mean about me that I don’t look like him/her or I don’t have a partner to share my life with right now or I don’t work at my dream job like they do?” That’s a deep question so ponder that for a moment and really think about what you make that mean about you. I can fast forward it for you and tell you that it doesn’t mean anything. You most likely make it mean a lot about you, but what someone else has, is or looks like means NOTHING about you! So stop giving that so much power. Take back that power and use it to create more of what you want. If you wallow in where you are not and what you don’t’ have, you will stay there. Thus, the depressed, stressed thoughts will keep cycling through and you will keep getting more of what you don’t want.

So, I promised the keys to successfully clearing the fog from your eyes and you can start right now. So here they are:

1)    Unfollow/Unfriend anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself, generates envious feelings or feelings that you are not good enough.

a.    Follow only people and groups that are supportive to who you currently are.

b.    Check in with your social media feed often and let go of any person/business/group, etc. that does not serve YOU and who YOU ARE TODAY. It is helpful to have people push you but social media is not the place to get that accountability.

2)    Limit your social media time. Start small with 15 minutes less per day. Then make a reasonable target for the amount of time that is useful for you to use social media.

a.    This can be easier if you make a list of things you CAN do that will make you feel good when the urge hits you to go to social media. The act of replacing that urge to get on social media with something that feels good will help you break the habit faster. Our habits are created from a place of pleasure so breaking bad habits is the same concept. Create pleasure in place of the bad habit and success is inevitable!

b.    Ideas for things that make you feel good:

                                                    i.    Take a walk or engage in your favorite physical activity

                                                  ii.    Drink a glass of water

                                                  iii.    Hug your child or pet

                                                  iv.    Call a good friend or family member to just check in

                                                  v.    Listen to your favorite music

                                                  vi.    Do something for YOU!

3)    Turn off notifications from all social media (unless you need it for business purposes only). The notifications are constant reminders to get on social media and control your excessive use of social media. You should be the one determining when you go on and see what messages you have. You don’t need to see them right as they come!

4)    Accountability is also super important. Let your friends and family know you are working on limiting your social media so you can be more in control of your life and start feeling better and being in greater action to create what you want in life. If possible, have them help you limit your social media. They can give you a polite nudge when you are focusing too much on it or they can help you with alternatives that will keep you away from it. Support is important and don’t feel ashamed for leaning on others. People who love you will want to help you!

Those are 4 rather easy steps that shouldn’t take much time but will certainly give you a big return on your time and energy. It’s amazing what will be possible for you when you gain this time and power back.

Self-Care Tips

·    Drink a cup of water each morning: it helps to boost your metabolism while also making you feel more awake and hydrated from when you were asleep (and continue to drink water throughout the day).

·    Light up your favorite candle scent while completing a routine (getting ready, doing household chores), it helps set a calm mood

·    Make a homemade body and face scrub using brown sugar and honey

·    Apply coconut oil to the ends of your hair and leave it on for an hour. It helps strengthen your hair and hydrates it.

·    Take a shower in the morning using your favorite scents while playing your favorite song. It will help wake you up and get you in a good mood.

·    Eat breakfast! Running late? Grab a fruit or something healthy on the go. Have some food in your body in the morning helps you from not feeling as tired and drained (crucial when it comes to school and busy family life)

·    Go out for a walk.

·    Uplift yourself. Every day wake up and think about one thing you like about yourself.

·    Take warm bubble bath or extended hot shower. Let yourself relax, especially at night.

·    Moisturize your body and face after every shower. It’s important o keep your skin hydrated and healthy.

·    Apply coconut oil to any part of your body that is prone to getting razor bumps after shaving; also shave with coconut oil and make sure to exfoliate your body before shaving to also prevent razor bumps

·    Cleanse your face with your regular face wash every night! It will get rid of all the dirt and oil from the day (touching your face, walking outside, talking on the phone, etc)

Cravings are not the problem, they are the symptom of imbalance. It’s the fact that there is an imbalance somewhere, mentally, physically, or emotionally, that is not being addressed. So, the craving is the body’s request for balance.

We want to explore the idea of flexibility and thinking maybe just maybe there is a reason the craving is occurring. And what might be underneath the reason? And starting to open up the possibility that you get to be in a relationship to your body-which is a very flexible experience vs. sort of being in a state of tyranny because of a particular diet or dogma, which is not, it is a relationship, but it isn’t much of one. It’s very challenging if the relationship is “do what I say” and that’s it.

The body cannot be controlled.

Your diet will change as you change.

Cravings are just the best solution that you’ve come up with so far. And truly, they’re a messenger that’s asking you to seek a new and better solution.

So, binge eating, may not be the problem; The problem may be the way of coping with life.

Consider that every craving, behavior around food no matter how destructive or dysfunctional it might look from the outside, has a positive intention. And what’s going to be important about that when you become a more and more masterful coach, that that acceptance of symptoms, cravings and behaviors that you want to hate, and you want to disown, and we want to ignore and things that they’re so awful, the acceptance of them as having a positive intention is what starts to help continue to work with as we move along in the training.

Example: A stomach ache is a symptom of an underlying problem. If you explore and give it a little attention, there is probably a better solution.

One of the things you want to consider is your willingness to break rules.

-Have to be willing to move beyond food is a moral judgment about who we are as people. And into the idea that who we are as people, we are good, we are worthy, we are lovable and deserving of love. And that our relationship with food is asking us, instead of having should/shouldn'ts, rules, blah….asking us to have awareness, presence, and listening. Awareness, presence and listening.

You do have a relationship with your body. It’s the longest relationship of your life.

You have thoughts and beliefs about food, your body and health itself. These are your most powerful tools.

Ex: Food is my enemy. -That puts your body on alert. It senses danger. Something dangerous is coming. So even if you are eating the healthiest superfood ever, your body is armed against it and will resist it in some way. Until the belief is shifted, it really doesn’t matter what you eat because all food has been coded in the belief system as the enemy. It’s a mental attack on the physical. Ask yourself: “In what way might I be attacking myself with my thoughts?” If I’m experiencing all kinds of food allergies, and how am I launching rockets at myself every day from my mind, and its being manifested and mirrored in the fact that food is seen as a danger”. Your thoughts are negating the health effects of the good foods you are eating.